Highs and Lows May 11

Jennifer over at Life, Crafts and Whatever is doing the highs and lows of your week again.  She got the idea from a movie, The Story of Us, which I've never seen, but the family in the movie shares the highs and lows of each day at the dinner table.  I think I might start that at our house.  Sounds like a nice thing to share.  









Highs:

• Mother's Day was lovely.  Hubby took the kids to get donuts first thing in the morning so I got a half hour of peace (frankly a little eerie) and didn't have to make any food!  Then we did a long, leisurely drive and a picnic lunch and finally worked in a date night to dinner and the movies.  Saw our first 3D movie (yes, we are that behind the curve).  It was cooler than we expected.  I think I ducked once so that Thor's giant pecks wouldn't smack me in the face.
• Raccoon: caught and removed easily.  The only moment I felt even vaguely sorry for him was when he was clinging to the top of the trap and stretching his little clawed hand through the wire toward the unfeeling heavens in a plea for freedom.  But then he looked at me with his hateful, beady little eyes and my sympathy disappeared.  Besides, I'm sure he's quite happy in his new habitat, wherever that may be.
• Grandparents in town who entertained the kiddos on two hot humid days.  
• My little Etsy shop has seen a lot of business thanks to Mother's Day.  Just on the verge of being too much business, actually, but still nice. 

Lows:

• My right kneecap has decided that it no longer wants to be part of my body.  Can't blame it really as baby #4 is really creating a great deal of extra weight for the kneecap to carry.  Anyway, it's decided that if it fills up a huge balloon of some sort of fluid behind itself, sooner or later it will just eject itself out and be free.  Unfortunately that is causing a bit of pain for the rest of the leg.  Stupid kneecaps and their drive for independence.  
• This one is a mixed high/low.  I've added a necklace to my Etsy shop that I created originally for myself as a remembrance necklace for my son, Jack.  It reminds me of two arms holding something precious.  It seems to resonate with people though and I've had a ton of orders for it. So with each order I have such mixed emotions.  I know that for myself, it is so valuable to have small, concrete reminders of Jack's little life.  Something that makes it seem more real, so I am glad that other mothers are getting something similar.  But it is also heartbreaking to hear peoples stories of loss that they share while they are ordering.  Especially around Mother's Day.  So if you know a mother who's lost a child, send her a quick note or give her a quick call to let her know you are thinking of her at this time.  Don't worry, you don't have to say anything profound  Just let her know you are thinking of her and her child.  Sooner or later I'm actually going to write the post on what a mourning mother needs that I've been tossing around in my head for a couple years. 

Highs and Lows

My bloggy-friend Jennifer over at Life, Crafts and Whatever started a linky party about the highs and lows of your week, which seemed like a nice post for the weekend. 






No promises that mine will be neatly delineated between Highs and Lows like other peoples, or that it necessarily will only encompass the past 7 days, but here goes (by topic):



Highest high: On Tuesday we went down to the Big City for a secondary ultrasound to really thoroughly check out Baby Boy's heart and other various organs.  And everything looks great!  We were, of course, very relieved.

It was also a nice perk to just lie quietly on a table while Medman wrangled the two kids into civilized behaviour.  D was very interested to see the baby and Belle, well she's oblivious, but overall they did really well.



Pajamas:
Low: Every night in the past week Belle has at least partialy taken off her pj's after we put her to bed AND twice disrobed entirely including pulling off her diaper.  Eww.  Thankfully both times we had just a #1-type mess, not a #2-type mess, but the possibilities of her creativity freaked me out.  And she is completely immune to hearing rules such as "LEAVE YOU PAJAMAS ON!!!!!!!!!!"  After dutifully and solemnly agreeing that she will leave said pajamas on, the minute you leave the room you can hear her cheerfully saying, "I pull my zipper down!  I see my arms!  I see my tummy!  Where are my knees???"

High: The day I realized, "Hey, she's just outgrowing her 12 month pajamas!" (Yes, I know she's turning 2 in 10 days....) And I grinned an evil grin, grabbed the jammies, snipped off the little footies, snipped a little slit in the back of the neck to loosen it up a bit and stuck them on her backwards.  Yup, zipper and snap right up her back.  And yes, she looks like Huck Finn with her cut-off, too-short pajamas, BUT SHE CAN'T UNDO THE ZIPPER!  I proudly admit that the first night I did it when I went in later and saw her sleeping fully clothed I threw my hands into the air and did a silent dance of victory.  I can still beat you, ya stinkin' one-year-old.


Random Low:
While I was driving on the TWO LANE "highway" that goes through our 3 mile long town.  (The only place in town that you MIGHT get stuck sitting through more than one cycle of a traffic light.  If you are out at RUSH HOUR which goes from 4:55 to 5:05, AND it's turkey hunting seasons AND you are sitting in front of our only grocery store)  I got pulled over for deciding at the last minute NOT to turn from the left turn lane, but instead to go straight through the deserted intersection.  Unfortunately, one of our public servants happened to see.  And I had to bite my tongue to not say something sarcastic as he told me, "You're not in trouble, just wanted to make sure you are more careful in the future.  Especially on BUSY roads like this one."

Yes, sir.  You really got to keep your head on a swivel in traffic like this.



Random Highs:

-Picking flowers with Belle in the back yard.  Are her favorites the cheerful yellow dandelions?  No.  The sweet purple flowers that are sprinkled across our yard?  Nope.  She likes, "the green ones."  That would be the empty stump of a dandelion which has already had all its fuzz fly away.

-Belle wearing an adorable blue and white checkered dress that I MADE FOR HER AND IT ACTUALLY FITS while picking the flowers.  I will not mention how many things I've made for her lately that do not even fit over her minuscule head.  Apparently I have a measuring problem.



Lowest Low:
Thursday night, before heading to bed, Medman glanced outside AND THERE WAS A RACCOON CLIMBING OUT FROM UNDER OUR DECK.

AGAIN.

If you don't remember the last raccoon problem (and you have some free time to read my overly long telling of the adventure) look here  and here. 

Anyway, NOT excited about our new nocturnal neighbor.  And yes, he's huge.  (I flat out refuse to believe it's another female.  It's male.  I could see it in his beady little eyes.)  He's huge like a small bear.  Or a baby hippo.  Maybe even a teenage hippo. Or a raccoon known by his friends a Magnus Coon-Magnusun.   And since Animal Control flat out refuses to believe that there can be animal problems on the weekend, we can't call for a trap until Monday morning.  I'll get a picture of the monster to post once he's caught.  I'm sure you're all dying to see him.

Things I've had to hear this week...

D:  Crouton's don't bounce very high.

I don't believe I dignified that with an answer.

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Belle's answer to EVERYTHING:

Me: Belle!  Why did you just (throw your pancake? put your pancake in your hair? rub your pancake on your face? ask desperately for a pancake and then NOT EAT IT???)

Belle (looking earnestly at me):  Why 'cause, I told you.

Oh, thanks for clearing that up. 

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And in the car my kids have been entertaining each other with silly faces. 

Silly face, gales of laughter, silly face, gales of laughter. 

So the other day when I was hearing moments of silence followed by peals of laughter I though lovingly of how nicely my kids were playing together.  But then I caught a flash of white in my rearview mirror and when I looked, a little white square fluttered behind my car and bounced off the van behind us.  While my brain is processing this I see another square of white flutter INSIDE the car, then whiz out the window. 

Peals of laughter.

That's when the brain recognized that little white square as a square of toilet paper. (Side Note: it had been less than 5 minutes since we had a conversation about what littering is and how it is BAD.  Very bad.)

Me  (yanking the rearview mirror down to see D behind me): WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

D (freezing wide-eyed and lowering his hands out of sight in the mirror): Um....you should keep your eyes on the road!

It is a sign of how annoyed I was that I consciously decided to file that response away for later, knowing I would then find it funny.

Me (pretending he had not spoken): ARE YOU THROWING TRASH OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR???

D: Um, the wind pulled it outside.

Me: WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING THAT?!?!?!?!?

Belle: Why 'cause, I told you!


Me: (deep breath then launch into a long, motherly lecture on littering and especially doing something your mother had JUST told you not to do...yada yada...normal long-winded motherly rant ending with...)  I left that toilet paper back there so you could give pieces to Belle if she needed a tissue.  She's not big enough to get it for herself.   I thought you were big enough!"

Long dramatic pause.

D's subdued little voice pipes up: "Clearly you were mistaken."

At which time I had just enough self control to snap off a "Clearly!"  before dying in silent laughter in the front, grateful that he couldn't see me.

Pictures

As usual, it's been too long since I posted pictures of the fam.  Lest you think I am hoarding pictures and am just unwilling to share them, I want you to know that I am probably the worst mother on the planet at photographing my kids.  I just don't think of it.  I know that some of you who take bajillions of pictures monthly have just decided I have some sort of mental challenge, but it's true.  My camera is woefully neglected.  So, here's the few I've taken lately...



First up, the Youngest Member of the household:

Meet Littlest Boy.  He's expected to make a more photographic appearance around August 12th, but for now, this is the best we can do.  Thankfully he was very cooperative last week during his ultrasound and showed his boy parts clearly as well as a well formed heart and all other important organs.  Which was quite a relief, if I do say so.


The Next Youngest:

Meet Abby.  She's a 10 weeks old yellow lab with blue eyes.  She and I have a love/hate relationship.  Everyone else thinks she's swell.  She hasn't peed on my floor in 6 days and she no longer has worms in her poop, so we're getting along better every day.  If she would stop nipping and snagging the few clothes that I have that fit since the Youngest Member is causing an undue amount of growth in all parts of my person, we'll be just fine.


The Third Youngest:

Cutie pie, huh?  The pigtails are new, and she leaves them in!  Love it!

Belle trying to convince the world she is SO BIG!  Just keep trying, kiddo.

In perpetual motion.

"Mommy!  I JUMP!"

And one where you can actually almost see her. (And thanks to Jennifer Walston for the adorable dress!)

The Eldest:

It is an unfair fact of life that there are irresistibly cute stages of growth and stages that are just, well, not so irresistibly cute.  Almost 2 with curly pigtails is the definition of irresistible.  4?  Well, he's still the most handsome 4 year old ever, but the kid never gets his picture taken any more.  I did think he was super cute when we got home from the library and he plopped down to check out his new books.

And here's a couple of D and Belle at grandparents in Colorado.

Caring for your Introvert

My friend Teresa posted a link on Facebook called "Caring For Your Introvert" by Jonathan Rauch which was awesome. 

During our premarital counseling, (which, granted, was quite a while ago at this point...) we took the Myers-Briggs personality tests and on the scale of Extravert v. Introvert, we discovered that we were both introverts.  Up to that point I thought introvert = freakishly awkward hermit with poor hygiene.    I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to read the true definition.  Here is Rauch's definition:

"Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge...For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

 A Wikipedia contrast between Extraverts and Introverts.:

• Extraverts are action oriented, while introverts are thought oriented.
• Extraverts seek breadth of knowledge and influence, while introverts seek depth of knowledge and influence.
• Extraverts often prefer more frequent interaction, while introverts prefer more substantial interaction.
• Extraverts recharge and get their energy from spending time with people, while introverts recharge and get their energy from spending time alone.

It was so eye opening to understand this about myself.  This is why those people who I could not comprehend (among them, my siblings) could run around all day with 35 other people and come home bouncing off the walls like they had just been fed 16 lbs of cotton candy when I wanted to hibernate in a dark cave.  I mean I can handle a big group of people.  For a limited time.  Like 10 minutes.  But then I need about 2 hrs of time either by myself or with a close friend to discuss/analyze the tsunami of information and sensory overload that I just endured. 
 
(I leave it to the readers who know the two of us to determine which person in my marriage is more introverted than the other.  But I will point out that Medman would probably rather have his head amputated than chit-chat with the world through a blog...) 

So here are some fine quotes from Mr. Rauch's article:

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). 

How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. 

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.
Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"
Third, don't say anything else, either.

And this is why I am not a good person to organize our monthly Girl's Night Out.  Other people put out a mass email, "Who can come to dinner on Tuesday?"  8 of the 10 say no and they think "Better reschedule."  I think, "FANTASTIC!!!  Girls Night Out with only 3 of us and good conversation!" 

And can I just take a moment to point out that being a stay at home mom does not mean hours of solitude.  It means constant, chatter-box, needy companionship.  All I can say is, "Thank God for nap time."  Screw the kids needing rest.  Mommy needs to recharge.
 

So if you are an Introvert, enjoy the article.  Analyze it, ponder how introverted you are, discuss it in depth with a close friend.  

If you are an Extravert and are confused, bored or insulted by this, go talk to a friend about it.  Or a stranger.  Or a room full of strangers.  And then you'll feel better.