I've got the GPS - never need a map again!*

Driving to the grocery store this morning Belle asked, "Can I tell you how to get there?"

Me: "Sure!"

Ok, the exclamation point indicates more enthusiasm that I was able to whip up because this exact scenario plays out every time I drive the kids somewhere.  But I tried to sound encouraging.

Belle: "Ok.  You go around...THAT TURN RIGHT THERE!"


Wait - you should know the setting so that this story can reach its full potential.

credit: Ed Suominen

To get from our house to the store (or anywhere else we go) we drive:

• 2 miles along a winding forest road which has approximately zero side streets. 
• Turn left onto the highway. This is the only turn.
• Drive along the highway through pretty valleys and forests for 10 miles to town. Again, minimal side streets.
• Every single thing we do in town is actually on that highway.

So when Belle was yelling "THAT TURN RIGHT THERE!" she was not in fact telling me where to turn, she was referring to the winding turns of the road itself.

This continues almost non-stop.

"TURN!! TURN!!
"DON'T DRIVE OFF THE ROAD!"
"DON'T BONK THAT TREE!"
"TURN HERE!"

As you can see, it turns into more of a driving lesson than actual directions.  And maybe you can see why I hesitate just a moment before saying "yes" to someone wanting to holler "directions" at me.

We get to the highway and she says (calmly for once), "Turn here."

Me: "Right or left?"

Belle, looking and pointing left: "Um....RIGHT!"

Me: "Nope. That's left.  Remember, you write with your right hand.  Write-right.  Easy to remember.  Which hand do you write with?"

She tentatively raises her left.

Me, laughing: "Never mind.  I'm turning left."

Belle: "Now... GO STRAIGHT!  NO!  TURN HERE!!!"

All of this is once again referring to the turning of the road itself.

And as if that weren't enough, now that we're on the highway, every 45 seconds or so Liam shouts, "CAR COMING AT US!"

He's hollering about that car driving calmly and safely in its own lane of traffic headed the other way.

Belle:  "AND TURN AGAIN.... NOW THE OTHER WAY!!!"

Liam:  "AHHHH!  CAR COMING AT US!"

Belle:  "Straaaaaaaight...NOW TURN!!!"



If you had only an audio copy of our trip, you might think it was a bit more exciting than it really was.


Half way to town (which is a whole 5 minutes into her directions) Belle stops, clearly exhausted, and sighs.

"You know what mom?" she says, "If that car in front of us is going to the store, just follow them.  And if they aren't....um...then just find a different car and follow them."

*quoted from that funny little lost car in Disney's Cars.