Monday, September 5, 2011

Highs and Lows - Labor Day Edition

Highs and Lows of the week:


I can't really think of any major lows of the week.  Really, it's been a remarkably domestic week, even for me. Since I'm not officially supposed to pick up Belle or the baby+car seat for another couple weeks, we've been laying low at home unless Medman wants to go out with us.   That combined with 8+ hrs a day nursing and diaper changes and such really leads to a quiet week. 

I'd say the lows of my week all revolve around one of my pet peeves.  I HATE when part of my clothes gets wet.  Like if a sleeve gets wet from doing dishes, I go change my shirt.  And it's not like I say, "Huh, that's not comfy, I'll go put on something dry."  No, that would be a fairly reasonable reaction.  It's more of an "Oh sweet Moses, it's wet!  Breathe...don't scream...breathe...You can make it...just hold your arm awkwardly like that and the wet part won't touch you...breathe....must go change shirt...breathe..."  Yeah, something like that. 

And now I have a newborn.  And newborns are ALL ABOUT shooting fluids at people.  They don't give a crap that you don't want to be wet.  In fact crap is exactly what they want to shoot at you.  This past week I've had:
  • pee shot onto my arm
  • spit up in my hair
  • pee shot onto my shirt
  • spit up dripping down my arm and staying all slimy and warm under my bracelet.
  • crap squirted onto my hand
  • spit up pooled on my pants
  • spit up running down my hand, down into my sleeve and pooling by my elbow. 
  • crap leaked onto my pajamas
  • spit up poured down my shirt to pool in my bra.
  • pee shot all over my hand
  • spit up poured down my shirt AGAIN to pool in my bra.
Yes, it's disgusting.  And no, I don't want you to skim the list.  Go back, reread it and really immerse yourself in each damp situation.  Go ahead, I'll wait.  

  • Oddly enough, now that I have a new baby I've found time to read.  I haven't read in ages. But this week I picked up Pride and Prejudice and enjoyed reading it in about 100 short sittings.  I dearly love that book but I just found out my father thinks it is "painfully boring."  Which proves that I must get all of my good taste and sophistication from my mother.  And solidifies the fact that I can never again take advice on any subject from my father.  
  • My parents were in town for a couple days to meet Liam and to entertain the older ones.  So nice to get a long break in the middle of the day to talk to my husband while someone else sits out front and watches the turkey heads ride bikes.
  • The weather has been BEAUTIFUL.  We've had time for playing outside and I haven't wanted to pass out from the heat.  One lovely day the two older munchkins decided to push eachother around in the big plastic car we call Henry.  
First D cheerfully pushed Belle around.  There was much squealing of delight from Belle who was being propelled around the yard at a pretty fast pace. 
Then they had a congenial role change.
Then Belle attempted with all her tiny might to push D through the grass.  Instead of helping, D pulled his knees up to his chest and let her struggle along while hollering encouraging things like, "Your doing great, Belle!  Keep it up!  But I think you can go faster!"

  •   There was time to
play at the water table
and wear really big boots.

  •   There was a lot of baby gazing time
  • And undoubtedly the high point of the kids week was when the dead pine tree in our yard was cut down.  After hours of watching the tree guys scale up the tree with their chainsaw cutting off huge branches, the power company topped off the excitement by showing up in their huge bucket truck to take down the top of it.  And all this was conveniently located directly out the back door for our viewing pleasure. 

Hope everyone else had a great week too.  Sooner or later we'll get in the groove of things this fall and maybe I'll have more exotic highs and less disgusting lows.  But for now, may you all have lovely weather and may no one spray you with anything gross.   


  1. Out of the whole list, the puke under the bracelet thing made me shudder the most. I don't call it spit's puke and you know it. Don't cute it up.

    I have the same thing with being wet. The worst feeling is when you get out of the pool and then you have to go shower and then you are drenched head to toe and soaked thoroughly. It's gross. I need one of those full body blow dryer thingies. How you have a baybay and are keeping your head together getting puked and peed on is beyond me. I'd take poop over pee any day.

  2. Have I told you how much I enjoy your Highs and Lows? Always hilarious and familiar. I've been telling my kids recently about how noisily they pooped when they were babies, and how each one managed to shoot it all the way up into their own hair several times. It makes them crack up, now, but some day they'll be cleaning up their OWN kids and maybe it won't seem quite so funny. Or maybe it will. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Oh my--I misspelled my own name on the link. :( That would be "Karen."

  4. Oh my gosh, I was laughing SO HARD at the whole "wet situations" rundown! Hilarious!!!

  5. There is just nothing like reading posts like this from fellow "new moms"...even though I've only got 1, just reading the situations...SO funny! :)

  6. Totally skimmed the list until you admonished me. Now I truly understand the dampness.


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