Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Should I be worried... 2nd edition

This could become a regular post on my blog.  I am constantly asking myself if I should be worried about the odd things my kids do.  Of course, I think I'm going to write a book about how children hit all the major types of mental illness as they grow.  It'll be a best seller for sure and change the way child psychology is viewed.

  • Baby happily hitting the same dangly toy over and over and over again?  OCD.
  • 2-year-old laughing, then crying, then peaceful, then screaming?  Manic depressive.
  • 5-year-old LOVES gym class and has the best time ever but the next week hates gym class and cries to go home? Schizophrenic.

See? As an adult it's a mental illness.  In a child it's a "developmental phase".

But I digress.

Should I be worried of weird phobias? 
A couple times now, in the middle of happily eating bacon Belle will suddenly put down the bacon and say, with a very concerned face, "Mommy, I don't like bacon.  It really scares me."
'Cause I kind of am.
Scared of bacon?  I'm scared of people who don't like bacon.  I love bacon.  Will I still love her if she doesn't?  I don't know.  Probably, but I can't be sure.

Should I be worried that I yell at the kids too much?  
Dalton told his sister the other day, "You don't yell at me!  Only Mommy and Daddy yell at me!"

'Cause I'm not.
I mean, I'd like to yell at them less, but D seems to think it's perfectly fine that I do it, so why stop? 
He looks innocent, doesn't he...

Should I be worried that there is yet another baby-related game going on? 
This one is called "Napping" and it consists of one child putting their head down (while never giving any other sign that the game has begun) and when the other one speaks the first one looks up and yells, in as crabby of a voice as possible, "Don't wake me up! I'm napping!
'Cause I'm not.
Well, I'm not terribly worried about the game.  Yes it shows that I am horribly crabby about them waking the baby from his nap, and that may not be a part of my personality that I want to see mirrored, but I really don't want them to wake him up.  So any reinforcement of that idea is good, right? 
And besides, there's an aspect of the game that is funny.  Belle refuses to close her eyes when she's the 'napper.'  When Dalton points this out and says, equally crabbily,"You were not napping.  Your eyes were open." She show in her response that she still believes something firmly that I thought she had grown out of.  "Dalton," she replies condescendingly, "I always sleep with my eyes open." 
Months ago she first informed me of this and when I told her that everyone sleeps with their eyes closed she said, "Yup.  Everyone but me.  And Dalton."  But then she dropped it for a long time.  Until the napping game started.  Then last night when I went in her room 90 minutes after I'd put her to bed to tell her in my most intimidating mommy voice that she needed to "lay down, be quiet, close her eyes and GO TO SLEEP," she replied, "No."  Then she must have seen my unhappy face (see last post) because she quickly continued, "I sleep with my eyes open."  
(Deep breath) Fine.  Lay down, be quiet, leave your eyes open and GO TO SLEEP!

Here she is, clearly fast asleep.

Should I be worried that Liam might not be the cutest baby in the world?



  1. And me. As a kid, I slept with my eyes open, too (I remember insisting on it--after all, I never had any memory of having my eyes closed the night before...)

    These are hilarious. I say that as a chronic worrier. The bacon thing is especially funny. There was a time when I wondered if I should worry that my normally sensitive, tender, middle child would pick up any pork product she was served and say to it in an evil voice, "I'm going to eat you up, pig!" And then laugh like a maniac.

  2. need to write a book. The things your kids is hilarious! I can't decide if I should be super excited for Colston to talk or scared lol :)

  3. You are so funny. Your kids are so funny (and cute!)...I loved everything about this post!

  4. I, myself, am a little worried that Liam is the cutest baby on the earth, what with having my own baby and all. For reals.

    My paralyzing fear is that my children will have no sense of humor. Is that wrong?

  5. Girl, you crack me up! But, it's oh-so true. I'll do you one better. Talk about 2nd guessing! Try being a full time stepmom! Sheesh. Not only does Dad come in and say whydidyoudothat, but you get themotherwhodoesntwantherkids, her mother, his mother. And, oh yes, throw a few aunties into the mix.

    I was not a happy camper. But I was worried about what I did. The kids were just brats. It took a couple of years to get a . . . rhythm. Then I was just their mom - no step req'd. Ha!

    Now I have a beautiful grandson. And guess what? "Should I be worried?" Yeah, it still goes on.


    btw, the now-grown stepsons still call me whenever they have a problem. Don't be jealous ;)


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