Should I be worried... 2nd edition

This could become a regular post on my blog.  I am constantly asking myself if I should be worried about the odd things my kids do.  Of course, I think I'm going to write a book about how children hit all the major types of mental illness as they grow.  It'll be a best seller for sure and change the way child psychology is viewed.

• Baby happily hitting the same dangly toy over and over and over again?  OCD.
• 2-year-old laughing, then crying, then peaceful, then screaming?  Manic depressive.
• 5-year-old LOVES gym class and has the best time ever but the next week hates gym class and cries to go home? Schizophrenic.

See? As an adult it's a mental illness.  In a child it's a "developmental phase".

But I digress.


Should I be worried of weird phobias? 

A couple times now, in the middle of happily eating bacon Belle will suddenly put down the bacon and say, with a very concerned face, "Mommy, I don't like bacon.  It really scares me."

'Cause I kind of am.

Scared of bacon?  I'm scared of people who don't like bacon.  I love bacon.  Will I still love her if she doesn't?  I don't know.  Probably, but I can't be sure.

Should I be worried that I yell at the kids too much?  

Dalton told his sister the other day, "You don't yell at me!  Only Mommy and Daddy yell at me!"

'Cause I'm not.

I mean, I'd like to yell at them less, but D seems to think it's perfectly fine that I do it, so why stop? 

He looks innocent, doesn't he...

Should I be worried that there is yet another baby-related game going on? 

This one is called "Napping" and it consists of one child putting their head down (while never giving any other sign that the game has begun) and when the other one speaks the first one looks up and yells, in as crabby of a voice as possible, "Don't wake me up! I'm napping!" 

'Cause I'm not.

Well, I'm not terribly worried about the game.  Yes it shows that I am horribly crabby about them waking the baby from his nap, and that may not be a part of my personality that I want to see mirrored, but I really don't want them to wake him up.  So any reinforcement of that idea is good, right? 

And besides, there's an aspect of the game that is funny.  Belle refuses to close her eyes when she's the 'napper.'  When Dalton points this out and says, equally crabbily,"You were not napping.  Your eyes were open." She show in her response that she still believes something firmly that I thought she had grown out of.  "Dalton," she replies condescendingly, "I always sleep with my eyes open." 

Months ago she first informed me of this and when I told her that everyone sleeps with their eyes closed she said, "Yup.  Everyone but me.  And Dalton."  But then she dropped it for a long time.  Until the napping game started.  Then last night when I went in her room 90 minutes after I'd put her to bed to tell her in my most intimidating mommy voice that she needed to "lay down, be quiet, close her eyes and GO TO SLEEP," she replied, "No."  Then she must have seen my unhappy face (see last post) because she quickly continued, "I sleep with my eyes open."  

(Deep breath) Fine.  Lay down, be quiet, leave your eyes open and GO TO SLEEP!

Here she is, clearly fast asleep.

Should I be worried that Liam might not be the cutest baby in the world?

Nope.

Should I be worried...

Should I be worried....

...that this has happened more than once:  If I'm trying to get an antsy and wiggly Liam to fall asleep with shush-ing and singing and humming and gentleness and one of his dear older siblings busts into his room (in blatant disregard of the "IF LIAM'S DOOR IS SHUT AND HIS LIGHT IS OFF DO NOT ENTER" rule, I might add) I make all sorts of overly dramatic faces and hand waves at them to GET OUT QUIETLY.  Usually they recognize the crazed look in my eye and hightail it out of there.  But a couple times they haven't and they've decided they must speak to me immediately.  I will try several minutes of frustrated whispering in an attempt to not ruin the soothing atmosphere for Liam, but finally I end up snapping loudly at them in that exasperated-mommy-voice something like, "That is it!  OUT!  NOW!  Don't make me tell you again!" and when the child leaves I glance down at Liam....and he's asleep.

Yes, it seems that I use my "you're in deep trouble" voice so often that my baby finds it soothing.

...'cause I'm not.  

Did I mention it causes him to go to sleep? 

Therapy can be dealt with later. 

For now sleep is good. 

No matter what.

**************

 Should I be worried....

...about this? 

Today during school, D and I read part of a children's version of The Odyssey while Belle played with trains. Somehow Homer was left out of my education or I would have known that The Odyssey is pretty gruesome and perhaps not fit for a children's version.  But, never one to deviate from a plan, we have just forged ahead through a man-eating cyclops and a dreadful storm to reach today's cannibal giants.  I did have to explain that a cannibal was someone who ate people but D seemed sort of unimpressed by this horror so we read on as Odysseus' men were eaten.  (You are all applauding my mothering skills right now, aren't you?)  Anyway, after we were done the kids went off to play something and I went upstairs to get Liam and when I got back D said, "Belle drew a picture of a cannibal giant!"  What?  I thought she was playing trains, not having her innocent 2-year-old psyche marred by Homer!

"Yup," she says cheerfully, showing me her bubblegum-pink paper and pointing to the little circle things, "and these are the people it's eating."  

...'cause I'm not.

OK, I sort of am.  But seeing as she usually draws sweet things, I think I'm going to choose to think of it as the fact that my two year old has begun illustrating classical literature instead of that she drew a cannibal giant actually caught in the act of cannibalism.  And yes, I threw out that picture during nap time and wished the cute picture she drew of me on the chalkboard was savable.  I think tomorrow we'll read Winnie the Pooh. 

**************

Should I be worried....

...that D created a new (wildly popular) game called Throw the Baby?  Before you panic, the babies being thrown are baby dolls who, granted, have big clunky plastic heads and bean-baggy bodies making them spectacular projectiles.  For two days now a substantial amount of time has been spent by Belle and D launching their babies down stairs, over railings and into baby swings (empty swings, don't worry).

 ...'cause I am a little.

Frankly this is the worrisome one and has left me making many statements like, "I don't think you guys are allowed near Liam!" or "Now, you guys know we never throw real babies, right?"  To which D rolls his eyes and says, "Of course we would never throw a real baby.  This is a game for toy babies." You bet your tush it is, kid. 

But any game that encourages so much happy play between D and Belle (really, peals of laughter for half hours at a time...) is worth it.  At least I hope it is...