Saturday, October 31, 2009

Switched at (3 months past) birth?

Big D was an angelic baby.  Overdoing the research as always, I had read every baby book ever published before he was born and during his infancy.  I kept finding reference to this mysterious 'colic' stage from 6-12 weeks that babies go through.  No one knows the cause or a cure.  No one knows which babies it will affect.  Weeks of inconsolable crying with only old wives tales for treatments.  But six weeks came and went and no increase in crying.  In fact there was barely any crying at all.  Just this gummy smile at all hours of the day.  Without daring to tell it to any mother of a colicky baby, I was pretty convinced that 'colic' was just the result of bad parenting or perhaps the sign of a terrible personality disorder.

But then Belvedere was born.  And for about six weeks there was peace.  Did I fear the approaching colic storm?  Did it ever occur to me that I was like some tropical island dweller blissfully soaking up the rays of warm sunlight, not knowing that the puff of cloud on the horizon was the edge of a category 5 hurricane?  No.  She came from the same parents, right?  And we did the same things with her, right?  So it stands to reason that she will be the same baby as Big D.  Right? RIGHT?????

Wrong.  The hurricane did come and there was absolutely nothing we could do to calm the storm.  Who knew a tiny thing could cry for soooooooooooo long.  In spite of anything going on around her.  Nothing made it stop.  Not holding, cuddling, singing, swinging, car rides, entertaining, yelling, cajoling, bribing.  Sometimes not even nursing.  (Yes, you read correctly, 'yelling' was part of the list.  Judge not...)

It took the hurricane six weeks to blow through the house.  But now we come to the weird part.  At 3 months she became the most pleasant baby I've ever seen.  Cheerful, cute, cuddly, QUIET.  I discovered that she was likable.  That in fact I liked her.

Case in point: Last night Medman and I went over with the kids to some friends house.  We were going for dinner and I thought for sure we'd be home pretty close to Belvedere's 7:00 bedtime because I would be tired of holding a crabby, tired baby.  We were there until 10:00!  At night!  And Belvedere only fell asleep for about a half hour in my arms.  The rest of the time she stared happily at me and sucked her thumb.   It was vaguely unnatural.

Which leads me to the subject of this post.  I think it is possible that someone switched out that screaming baby for the one I have now.  I have no idea why they would want to do that but if they ever come back, even if they can prove with a DNA test that the screamer they have is mine, I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep cheerful Belvedere.  And I think any judge in the country who heard Screamer would punish the kidnappers by making them keep her.

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