Monday, July 25, 2011

Highs and Lows - July 24th

This weeks highs and lows in photo essay form...


High #1: Lots of fun playtime at...

...the new water table...
...mommy ACTUALLY let us have the paints out!...

...and at the kid's computers in the library.

High #2: Another high that I can't believe I've never mentioned is steak night.  
Every Saturday night Medman and I have steak night.  I know some couples have a weekly date night where they go out, but since there aren't any restaurants in town with food that can hold a candle to our steaks and adding babysitting costs to dinner costs starts to get pricey, we just do our date at home.  We toss the children in the general direction of their beds, cook up a mound of potatoes, a nice juicy steak and a glass of wine and enjoy a movie.  It is consistently a highlight of our week.  We start talking about it around Thursday.  Don't invite us to do anything on Saturday nights.  It's steak night.  No, we don't want to eat steak on another night.  What?  You want us to come somewhere and you will give us $5000?  Um, maybe.  But we'll have to talk about it before we can give you a definite answer.  It's steak night. 


Low #1: My body is able to handle pregnancy until around 5:00 every day.  Not gracefully, mind you, but I deal with it.  But come dinner time everything deteriorates.  Heartburn, back pain, hip pain, exhaustion, baby jabbing sensitive body parts.  And then I get crabby.  Which pisses me off. 

Not that it's surprising that I feel this way.  I'm beginning to suspect that the human body was never SUPPOSED to do this.  And don't ANY of you DARE tell me about how glorious and miraculous pregnancy is.  I will kick you.  It will take me a couple minutes to waddle over to you and I can't lift my leg higher than your shin, but I will kick your shin hard.  My swollen ankles are like little wrecking balls. 

You see, being 9 months pregnant I have 14 extra lbs (between baby, amniotic fluid, placenta and uterus) shoved into my abdomen.  (No picture here.  You're welcome.) And that's just baby stuff.  That leaves an equivalent amount of weight gain as an intrinsic part of ME.  Did you know I have FOUR POUNDS of extra blood right now?  Ew.

The kicker is that before the baby showed up my abdomen was already full of my own essential organs.  And it was full.  I didn't have gaping caves in there just waiting for some sort of parasitic life form to fill up.  And my organs worked fine.  Now, not so much.  My stomach is too squished to allow food to be digested properly so it keeps trying to send it all back up the way it came.  My bladder is pummeled regularly and my intestines are all squished.  If I had any idea what my spleen did, I'm sure I'd see evidence that it too was having trouble working in the newly crowded neighborhood. 

Low #2: It's HOT.  Miserably hot.  Here's today's outlook:

I know, the whole country's hot.  But on Friday we were looking at a heat index map and lo and behold the highest heat index in the country was right where we live.  Ugg.  There are 2 theories for why this heat is happening.
  1. The first involves some sort of meteorology.  Something about an El Nino event earlier this year.  Blah blah blah.  
  2. The second, which I find more likely, is that the heat generated by my body attempting to grow a child is so intense that it is affecting the 13 states around me.  Sorry Midwest. 

Linking up to Jennifer's Highs and Lows


  1. Thanks for linking up, as always!

    Steak night sounds yummy! Can I come? I take mine medium rare. :)

    You're near the end! The end is in sight! And I'm sure you're beautiful, and glowing, and have that beautiful pregnancy glow all about ya. (In reality, I'm pretty sure that pregnancy glow is just the glistening of sweat. At least, it was in my pregnancies).


  2. You're like..the funnies little thing ever. I actually choked a little on my Dr. Pepper. I know that a lot of comments say that like, " OMG! Thanks for making me shoot milk outta my nose! " and you totally know they didn't ACTUALLY shoot milk outta their nose.
    But I ACTUALLY LITERALLY choked on my Dr. Pepper.

  3. Your lows are comedy. My friend sent me the link to this post of yours because I'm 39 weeks pregnant, swollen, organs being pummeled and you totally get the rest. No picture to share and you, too, are welcome. You are in good company my dear if you believe misery loves company. LOL

    I take it you're almost done although it still feels as though eternity hasn't even started yet. I'm so there.

    Chin up and keep choking down that delicious steak! Looks scrumptious.


  4. Um, so I have only been pregnant the one time, kiddo is 3 months old now. I HATED being pregnant. Like you, I wanted to kick all those "ooooh but but it's so (insert mushy-gushy-lovey happy adjective(s) here)" people...really?! Have you tried it? It's not fun lol :)

    Thanks for the laughs, I surely needed them, and definitely related to them! :)

  5. Love these as usual! And--I'm sorry about how miserable you feel. I didn't experience pregnancy as beautiful and glorious, either. Hang in there! (Hoping for cooler weather...)

  6. And don't even try complaining to your OB about how you are in so much discomfort because your own personal organs are being so abused. They don't care. It's all about the baby, all day, all night, starting now. You are merely a vessel.


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